Most days I walk around, eyes straight ahead.
Focused on making tomorrow better for myself than today was.
More times than not, I’m running full speed in to the fire.
Searching for any survivors, though I know they’re not there.
You see, I find peace in the flames…
The chaos; a Symphony of consequences derived from actions upon me.
My straightened gaze never straying.
Or so the think…
But sometimes, I want to be the storm and not the ocean. So I can know what it feels like to cause all that commotion when I’m just passing through.
I want to be the hurricane and not the tree. So instead of feeding the roots I can up and destroy what I feel like. Then call it: “nature”
I want to be the heart breaker this time. So I can know what it feels like to be the brick and not the window pane.
No “sorry,” will mend the pieces back together.
The transparency shattered.
Pane for pain.
Hiding in plain sight. I want to be the second thought before you step in to the crosswalk.
The: “did I lock my door?” thought that passes through your brain like a freight train as you finally lay your head to rest on a pillow that’s been waiting for you since you left that morning.
I want to be everything I’m not, in a bad way.
I want to be the opposite of me because I want to actually be the bad guy and not just feel like one…
Sometimes I want to be alone. Not to find myself. But to find myself not thinking of ways to please others.
Sometimes… yeah sometimes.